Rock Climbing and Penis Caves at Railay Beach!

          During my last semester of teaching I didn't get to travel as much as I would've liked.  My primary focus was working and saving money.  I needed cash for my trip back to the States and to hold me over through my next gig volunteering in the north.  I did, however, plan and budget for one 4-day trip to Railay Beach in Thailand's Krabi province. 

          I've been to many of Thailand's most stunning islands and beaches, but never to Railay.  A few friends have told me that, with it's towering limestone cliffs and clear blue water, it's their favorite beach in Thailand.  I was set on spending some time there before I left the south.

          My girlfriend and I took advantage of a 4-day holiday weekend in August and hopped on a bus (and then a tuk-tuk... and then a long tail boat) to Railay.  After we checked in to our guesthouse, we walked around and toured the small peninsula that Railay is stretched upon.  Railay is only accessible by boat and has three main beaches.  Railay West is the most beautiful beach on the peninsula, but Pra Nang is more... mmmm... interesting.

It's home to Tham Pra Nang Nok (Princess Cave), a cave dedicated to an ancient fertility goddess.  The cave is full of hundreds of phallic symbols of all kinds-- big, small, wooden, plastic-- as well as garlands and offerings to the goddess for “increased potency and prosperity”.   

Unless you're talking about Vietnamese currency,
I never want to see "hundreds of dong" again

          After I finished my photo shoot with the giant wooden penises (or is it peni?), I needed something to bring my self-confidence back up.  We strolled up the small Walking Street and I booked a half-day of rock climbing at King Climbers, one of the many rock climbing shops that Railay is home to.  Krabi province is world famous for its limestone walls and first-class rock climbing. 

       

          The next morning, Britt and I met our guides, grabbed our gear, and followed the shoreline.  The sand turned to jungle and quickly we found the giant stone face that we were to scale by five different routes.  A brief tutorial on knot-tying and gear rigging was all we were given before the guides let us loose upon the rock.  As I gracefully floated to the top of what normal humans think of as a challenging climb, I could hear the guides talking to each other on the ground below.  I couldn't make out exactly what they were saying in Thai, but I think it was something about how I reminded them of an angel.  I briefly paused at the top to look over my shoulder and take in the incredible view of the bay behind me. Then, I pushed off the rock and effortlessly repelled back to the ground.  The guides' faces were awestruck, like they just found out Spiderman really does exist.

got a light?

          Later that night we went to dinner at the last bar on the beach, creatively named Last Bar.  I ate good food and enjoyed a bucket of booze while I watched the fire show.  Fire shows are popular for nighttime entertainment on most Thai beaches.  Between one and ten locals perform dances and acrobatics while twirling ropes, sticks, and other primal props, all soaked in oil and lit on fire.  It's wise to always be paying attention during one of these shows.  More than once, I've seen a handler lose control of his flaming baton, sending it like a medieval fireball into the crowd of spectators.   Fortunately, on this night there were no such mishaps.

          The following day, we booked a snorkeling trip that had been recommended by friends.  A long tail boat took us to a few small islands off the coast to snorkel, swim, and lay on the beach.  The water was cloudy and visibility was low so I challenged Brittany to a jumping contest on the beach.  I clearly dominated.

didn't spill one drop

          At dusk, the boat pulled ashore a private island for us to watch the sunset, while the crew cooked up a BBQ seafood dinner on the beach for us.  While we waited for our food, Brittany wanted to redeem herself from her horrible showing in the jumping contest and challenged me to a cartwheel contest.  I'm not quite sure what she was thinking.  I've been told that my cartwheel execution is reminiscent of a young Kerri Strug.  Again, I dominated. 

          On the way back to Railay beach, the boat stopped in the middle of the bay for some night snorkeling.  I jumped in and the water immediately lit up all around me with the glow of thousands of phosphorescence.  I swam underwater and it felt like I was in outer space.  Holding my breath I threw out some ferocious karate chops and ninja kicks, each one trailed by a bright, yellow and blue, electric glow.  Then, I almost drowned and realized that I was not in the Matrix and swam back to the boat to take me home.

          All in all, Railay was great. It's a beautiful beach with tons of activities and it isn't as overcrowded as many of the islands are.  It's a bit more expensive then other places, but still, a 4-day vacation (including transportation, accommodation, food, drink, rock climbing, and snorkeling) only cost me about 6,000 baht ($200 USD).  Hopefully, before I leave thailand I'll get one more trip to the south.  If I do, I'll definitely visit Railay again.

low tide