Jer gan mai, bpratet Thai. (See you later, Thailand.)

“It is only in adventure that some people exceed in knowing themselves – in finding themselves.”

-Andre Gide

I fit practically everything I own into a backpack and duffle. It's a strange feeling, putting your whole life into a couple bags. It's exciting. Liberating. Scarily impermanent.

After 2 ½ years of living in Thailand, I'm going home to America. I've known it was coming since I bought the plane ticket two months ago. It's not a last-minute decision – not a surprise. In fact, I've been looking forward to it. Not because I've grown any less fond of Thailand, but because America the greatest country in the world and it's my home. It's where my family and many of my friends are, and I'm excited to be back with them. But even though I've known the time to leave has been steadily approaching, it didn't really hit me until my last day, while packing my things for the final time.

The last thing I threw in my backpack was my lucky Caps hat. It's always the last thing I put in my backpack – always at the top so it doesn't get crushed. I can remember when I bought it back in the States before ever coming to Thailand. It was dark blue then. Now it's a weathered light gray. I've put a lot of miles on that thing in the past couple years. I've worn it all over Thailand, from the mountains to the islands. It was on my head, keeping the pouring rain out of my eyes in Cambodia at Angkor Wat. It kept the Vietnamese sun off my face every day while I rode a motorcycle for hours and hours down Highway 1. In Laos, I'd pull it down over my brow so I could sleep, just to kill time on a two-day slow boat down the Mekong.

I've accomplished some amazing things and had some incredible experiences living and traveling abroad. I stared at my hat and many of these experiences flashed through my memory. That's when it hit me: I'm leaving. Not for a visit or to another town, but actually leaving. A heavy feeling came over me. Leaving Thailand is the end of not just a chapter, but a volume in my life. I might occasionally have a “third-world blowup” and bitch about the inconveniences of living in a developing country, but I truly love Thailand and the Thai people. It's become a second home to me and I'm going to miss it a lot.

I can honestly say that I'm a different person now than when I first arrived. I've learned so much about so many different aspects of life. I'm healthier. I'm happier. I've had more adventures in 2 years than most people will have in their whole lives. Do you have any crazy stories? Because I've got more than I have time to tell.

Perhaps the most valuable thing I've gained are the relationships I've built. I treasure these. Living and traveling with people thousands of miles from home creates a certain bond. Most of the friends I've made have moved on already, either back home or to a new country. I imagine that they had the same feelings while packing their bags as I did while packing mine. Knowing that you'll see those people again – someday, somewhere – makes it a little easier to deal with. And that's how I have to think of Thailand too – as a friend that I'll see again someday.

I zipped up my backpack and in just a few minutes my emotions had traveled the full spectrum. I went from a moment of realization to a moment of nostalgia. Then happy.  Sad.  Proud.  Overwhelmingly thankful.  And finally... excited. I'm excited because I know that this is the end of one series of adventures, yet so many more are still to come. I'm making a promise to myself to make sure that I never stop having adventures – that I never stop having experiences, meeting interesting people, wearing that hat, learning – that I never run out of things to write about.

I still have a lot of the world left to conquer. I better get started.

Jer gan mai, bpratet Thai.

So long, Thailand.  Until we meet again.

Long-necks & Monks in Mae Hong Son

After Pai, the next stop on the "northern loop" was Mae Hong Son.  The drive to Mae Hong Son was similar to the drive to Pai; up and down, side to side, rolling over and through the Thai highlands.  When we finally arrived in Mae Hong Son, people were selling t-shirts exactly like the ones for sale in Pai, but the "I survived the 762 curves to Pai!" tagline was replaced with "I survived the 1,864 curves to Mae Hong Son!".  Mae Hong Son is located on the Thai-Burmese border so you can't really go any further north or west, but I imagine if you could there would be a shirt available for purchase saying just how many curves it took to get there.

I liked Mae Hong Son from the beginning.  It's the most mountainous province in Thailand and it's name means "The City of Three Mists".  The town itself is "nestled in a deep valley, hemmed in by the high mountain ranges" of the Shan Hills that surround it.  Because it's a bit off the beaten path, Mae Hong Son is not nearly as touristy as Chiang Mai or Pai.  That's part of the reason it appealed to me.

Our guesthouse (Johnnie House, about $5 USD/night for a fan room) was located conveniently at the center of town, right on a lake.  Jong Kham Lake is small, but charming.  It's quiet, kept very clean, and there are restaurants and shops along the outlying footpath.  From our guesthouse we had a great view of a beautiful 200 year-old Shan-style temple on the opposite side.  Not-so-distant mountains provided an epic back drop to the scene.

Wat Jon Kham

Mae Hong Son's natural setting provides both a place to relax and a place to be active.  There's world-class hiking, biking, rafting, and elephant trekking.  The province is also home to many hill-tribe villages that have been forced to flee their native land, neighboring Myanmar (Burma), as political refugees.  One of these hill-tribe peoples is the Kayan (or Karenni), also known as the "long-necked" tribe.  The women (Lahwi) wear coiled rings that put pressure on the collar bone and, over time, give the appearance of a stretched neck.  A few long-neck villages around Mae Hong Son that have become tourist sites.  This allows foreigners to get glimpse inside the Kayan culture in addition to providing a source of self-sufficient revenue for the people.

I found a map, rented a motorbike for the day, and drove out to one of these villages.  It cost 250 baht to enter.  According to an information leaflet I was given, the entrance "fee supports their daily needs such as food, medical treatment, children's education, [the] development of their village, and other extra needs".  As I walked around these people's village, I felt more than a little uncomfortable.  I understood that because they are refugees and have no way of working (or farming, as was their traditional way of life), that this is the only real stream of income that they have, but I still felt a sense of guilt.  Some people have gone as far as to label these villages "human zoos" and while I wouldn't go that far, the ethics of such an issue are certainly debatable.  I got permission from a few of the "long-neck" women to take their pictures.  Afterward, I donated some money in exchange for a postcard, hopped on the motorbike, and left.

I'm convinced Brittany is a long-neck descendant

I had the motorbike for 24 hours and the day was still young, so I made use of it by exploring.  The mountain roads may be hell while in a bus, but on a motorbike they're a lot of fun!  I raced up and down the rolling hills.  Just outside of town I pulled off the main road to follow a steep dirt path up a hillside.  Upon reaching the hilltop, Britt and I were greeted warmly by two monks living in a monastery there.  They invited us to sit down, gave us cupcakes and water, and showed us around their temple that was still under construction.  We spoke in Thai for the best part of an hour on topics ranging from Buddhism to Mike Tyson.  They were curious as to what Americans eat, if not rice, and at the end of our conversation they invited us to stay at the monastery and teach them English.  This random and quirky encounter was probably my favorite part of the day.

photo credit: abrutalkind on tumblr

From there we rode further, on a quest for Tham Pla, the "Fish Cave", a local tourist attraction.  After an hour of riding and searching we found it, but decided we didn't feel like paying the 100 baht ($3.25 USD) entrance fee.  It was, after all, just a cave with some fish in it.  We turned around and drove back to town.

When we got back, we decided to try and catch the sunset from Mu Kong, the local hill that looks over Mae Hong Son town.  From the bottom, ascending the hill looked like an exhausting task, but it turned out to be pretty pleasant.  The hundreds of steps to the top were well worth it.  On top of Mu Kong hill, is Wat Phra That Doi Mu Kong, a Shan-style temple, accompanied by two Burmese-style Chedis (stupas) built in 1860.  One of the stupas is said to "contain the relics of Phra Moggalana, one of the disciples of Buddha".  We walked around and checked out the stupas and the awesome hilltop views.  First, I looked out from the viewpoint on the east side.  I could see over the entire valley.  The town and the lake below looked like a miniature model.

We went to the other viewpoint to watch the sunset from the cleverly named Sunset Cafe on the west side of the mountain.

By the time we reached the bottom of Mu Kong hill, there was a night market set up around the lake and a parade going on in the streets.  People were dressed up in Northern Thai-style outfits.  Some were singing and some did traditional dances.  We watched for a while, then retreated to the guesthouse for some much needed rest.  It had been quite an eventful day.

Jong Kham lake & temple at night

The following morning we packed up and took a rickety bus a few hours to the even smaller border town of Mae Sariang where we'd stay just for one night.  We were about to finish the loop.  The final leg of our northern tour was an interesting one.  Our ultimate destination was Mae Sot, where Britt and I would be volunteering for the next couple of months, working with Burmese refugees.  Unfortunately, we didn't know that there is no bus from Mae Sariang to Mae Sot.  The only way to get there is in the back of a songthaew, essentially a pickup truck with a caged-in bed.  To make an insanely exhausting story of even more exhausting ride short, watch this super quick video I shot of the songthaew journey.  Seriously, watch it...  It's amazing how many people they can fit into the back of one truck!

After 6 hours of bumpy unpaved roads and being crammed together with something like 34 other people (90% of whom were chewing and spitting beetle nut the whole time), we finally arrived Mae Sot.  It wasn't fun, but we made it.  We were safe and we'd had a crazy new experience.  In the end, that's what traveling is all about.

panoramic shot of Jong Kham Lake-- where we stayed in Mae Hong Son

762 Curves to Pai!

the "northern loop"

After Chiang Mai, the plan was to finish touring the north via the “northern loop”-- Chiang Mai to Pai to Mae Hong Son-- which is popular with many travelers. Then, instead of completing the loop back in Chiang Mai, we'd continue along the Thai-Burmese border to Mae Sariang, and follow the river to our final destination of Mae Sot in Tak province. 

Pai

          The mini-bus ride from Chiang Mai to Pai was like being on a roller coaster... for three hours. In total, there's 762 curves, up and down, side to side. The journey is  infamous amongst travelers. It's guaranteed that at least one person in every mini-bus will make good use of their barf bag. On my bus, it happened to be a pregnant Japanese women. I felt bad for her as she got sick again and again.

Top 12 Experiences Of '12

2012 was an incredible year; one of the best ever. I'm stoked to see what 2013 brings! Here's a few pictures to illustrate the countdown of my TOP 12 EXPERIENCES OF 2012!  

*For the full blog post, click on the relevant link (title) for each.

# 12.  Many visits to Khanom-- one of my favorite beaches in Thailand

Christmas at the Tiger Kingdom in Chiang Mai

Thailand is well-known for its tiger sanctuaries.  They're essentially tiger zoos that allow you to interact with the animals.  It's something that has been on my Thailand Bucket List, things to do before I leave the country.  I had the chance to visit the Tiger Temple when I was visiting Kanchanaburi in October 2011.  However, there's controversy over whether the tigers at this facility are drugged (to make them docile enough to be around humans without eating them).  After doing some research, we concluded it probably wasn't very ethical, and decided to hold off.  

I recently got my second chance while in Chiang Mai for the Christmas marathon.  Chiang Mai is home to the Tiger Kingdom.  Tiger Kingdom is humane in its training and treatment of the tigers and there are far less complaints about it, at least that we could find.  I only have a few months left in Thailand so this would be my last chance to wrestle a tiger!

BETTER FASTER STRONGER: MY 5 FAVORITE TECH TOOLS OF 2012

My girl Britt's back with another guest post.  I'm not the most tech savvy person these days, but even while living in a developing country, she manages to stay on top of what's hot and helpful. step your game up with the newest life hacks and check out these 5 websites and apps to make your 2013 more productive, efficient, and connected.

ENTER BRITT...

Chiang Mai 2012 Half Marathon and Fundraiser Finale

THE FUNDRAISER

First of all, I want to say THANK YOU to everyone that donated to the fundraiser and supported me in my first 1/2 marathon.  Both the fundraiser and the race were enormous successes!  With the help of some amazing family, friends, and strangers, we more than doubled the original goal, raising a total of $2,221.89!  All the money will go towards education of Burmese migrants in Mae Sot, Thailand.  That money will go a long way and do amazing things.  It means a lot, both to me and to the students at Knowledge Zone.

Year In Reading 2012

In December 2011 I made a short list for the upcoming new year, not of resolutions, but of specific goals I wanted to accomplish. Some were big (trek to Mt. Everest Base Camp... check), some small. One of the smaller tasks I set for myself was simply to read more. I've never really been a big reader, but after moving abroad with no television, traveling and being on the move so much, I have a newfound respect and enthusiasm for reading. My goal for 2012 was to read 25 books by the end of the year; roughly, a book every two weeks. With 2013 just a few days away, I'm pleased to say that I knocked it out of the park. I read a total of 31 books this year. To some that may not be impressive, but it's definitely a personal best and I'm pretty pleased. Some of the books I read were better than others, but, disaster or masterpiece, I enjoyed them all.

If anyone's looking for something new to read, I've made a list of what I read in 2012, along with a few thoughts.

Songthaew Overload!

How many Thai people can fit into one vehicle?  You'd be surprised...

Check out this trailer for one of my upcoming blog posts!

(It's only a minute and 45 seconds... Watch it!)

Blake's Racing for Burmese Education!

In less than 25 days I'm running a half-marathon in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Did I mention that I have zero training and I'm going to be... “barefoot”? 

WHAT?! WHY?! 

wikalenda

For the past 2 ½ years I've been teaching English in Thailand. Recently, I left the sun and islands of the south for a small town on the northern Thai-Burmese border. For the next three months, I'll be volunteering my time, teaching English to Burmese immigrants-- economic, educational, and political refugees-- that fled their country to escape human rights abuses and to pursue the opportunity of receiving a proper education. 

Baan Thai Cookery School in Chiang Mai

          After fending off unruly Canadians in Chiang Rai, my tour of the north continued by backtracking three hours by bus to Chiang Mai. The last time I was in Thailand's “City of the North” was over two years ago and in an entirely different situation.

During Songkran, you can run but you can't hide!
(photo credit: tlcthai.com)

          In April of 2010, I first visited Chiang Mai with a couple of friends during songkran on our way to Laos and Vietnam. Songkran is the annual water festival held in celebration of the Thai New Year. Chiang Mai happens to be home to the biggest and wildest songkran hullabaloo (I love that word) in all of Thailand. What was once a simple and traditional celebration has grown to be a week-long music and beer fueled water war. Every April thousands of Thais and foreigners, young and old, pillage Thailand's old capital for six or more days of drenched revelry. Unfortunately, this time my stay in Chiang Mai would accommodate no such debauchery.

Songkran insanity!
photo credit: Thaimedicalnews.com

          No jungle trekking, no Muay Thai fights, and no late nights staring down empty beer bottles. Nope. This time, my four days in Chiang Mai were spent relaxing, reading, writing this blog, and hammocking in the garden of my guesthouse (Choke Dee Guesthouse- 350 baht/night). In fact, the most exciting thing that I did was take a cooking class. Scoff away, but taking a Thai cooking class is something I've wanted to do for a long time. I've mentioned many times that one of my favorite parts of living in Thailand is the incredible food, and it would be a shame to leave the country without at least attempting to acquire some of it's culinary wizardry.

          For 700 baht (about $22 USD) I attended a 4-hour "half-day" course at Baan Thai Cookery School. It was great. First, the instructor walked us through the local day market and showed us how to find the different fresh ingredients that we'd need for each dish. When we returned to Baan Thai we broke up into groups depending on what dishes we were cooking. There were three courses in all. We started with an appetizer, then a soup along with a rice or noodle dish, and with a curry for the grand finale. For each dish, the instructor showed us how to prepare the ingredients and follow the recipe. Then... Cook. Eat. Repeat.

the new sauce boss

For my appetizer I made som tam (shredded, unripened papaya salad with lime juice, fresh-ground chillies, peanuts, fish sauce, and palm sugar).  And for my soup creation, I made tom kha gai (chicken soup with coconut milk, basil, ginger, lemongrass, and chilli paste, lime juice, and cilantro)...

tom kha gai (left) and som tam (right)

Next, I mastered Thailand's most renowned noodle-dish, pad Thai (Thai-style stir-fried noodles with egg, shrimp, peanuts, coriander, lime, and fish sauce)...

not even flexing.

I finished strong with my masterpiece-curry, khao soi gai (a northern-style curry famous in Chiang Mai, made with egg noodles, Indian curry paste, coconut milk, pickled cabbage, and ground chillies fried in oil). One of my favorite dishes in Thailand the world...

food porn

After we cooked each dish we took it back to the table to taste test our creations. By the end of the class I had learned how to cook four awesome Thai meals, in less than four hours total, and devoured every one of them.  I was stuffed. 

imm maak maak!  Sooo full...

It was a fun experience and I'm glad I did it.  Not only did I get to eat some awesome food, but I learned a lot.  We even got to keep our own got our own copies of the cookbooks we used.  What's that old saying?  You can shear a sheep once, but if you teach it how to fish you'll never be hungry... yeah, something like that.  I know that one day the time will come when I'm somewhere else in the world, and I'll have an insatiable som tam craving but can no longer walk across the street and buy a plate for a buck.  I'll be ready!

Blake vs. the Canadians in Chiang Rai

          A busy October. Back to America for three weeks for my dad's wedding and to visit some friends and family. Then, just as the jet lag was wearing off it was back to Thailand, half-way around the globe. I spent a few days in Bangkok at some old haunts near the oh so infamous Khao San Road, met my girlfriend's parents for the first time, and showed them around the city hitting the Grand Palace and several other tourist spots. Having packed up all my belongings and moved out of my house in Surat, I still had three and half weeks to kill before orientation for my new job. After four days in the city, I was already dying to get away from the noise and stink of Bangkok, so north I went. First stop: Chiang Rai.

Chiang Rai

          It took 15 hours on a sleeper train from Bangkok, then another three hour bus ride, and finally a 10 minute tuk-tuk to reach my accommodation (Chat Guesthouse) in Chiang Rai town. I checked in and paid for a night (90 baht/person/night for a double bed), took a hot shower, and went to sleep.

          At 5:30 am Mother Nature sounded the alarm clock in the form of several screeching roosters just below my window. My goal for the day was to see what Chiang Rai had to offer without breaking my budget (I'm paycheckless for the foreseeable future). For 150 baht (about $5 USD) I rented a motorbike for the day and followed the free map I got from the tourism authority to Chiang Rai's famous Wat Rong Khun (the White Temple).

Wat Rong Khun
Narnia/Chiang Rai, Thailand.

The White Temple

          Reminiscent of a Narnian castle, Wat Rong Khun is a Buddhist and Hindu temple as well as a seemingly never-ending art project for its creator, the artist Ajarn Chalermchai Kositpipat. Funded entirely by public donations, the project began in 1997 with a projected completion date for the year 2070. The inside of the White Temple (which is not allowed to be photographed) is somewhat of a social commentary and features scraps of pop culture painted atop of traditionally designed Buddhist walls. Aside from the beautiful and unique architecture there's also a gallery with paintings, drawings, and sculptures by Kositpipat.

Britt's new friends

          After Wat Rong Khun, Britt and I hopped on our trusty two-wheeled rental and sputtered another 20 km down a scenic connection of badly paved mountain roads until we found Khun Korn Waterfall.   From the entrance of the park it was a 45-minute hike up and down a muddy trail cutting though bamboo thickets and jungle. Brittany was immediately befriended by three little Thai girls that were in absolute awe that a foreigner could speak their language so well. The mist from the waterfall cooled us off as we took some photos, then back down the trail to the motorbike we went.

Khun Korn Waterfall
Chiang Rai, Thailand

          We only wanted to pay for the bike for 24 hours, so the next day we were on foot. In the morning, we checked out Wat Phra Kaew (Temple of the Emerald Buddha). Guess what I saw? A temple. And an emerald Buddha.

          We killed some time in the afternoon at the Hilltribe Museum and got our learn on about the local native cultures and the history of opium in the region... welcome to the Golden Triangle.

          Finally, just before dusk, we were picked up in an ancient Land Rover-style 4-wheel drive SUV by Nok, the owner of Bamboo Nest Guesthouse where we'd be staying for the next two nights. About 30 km outside of town, we turned on to an unpaved driving path and it was all off-road and uphill from there. Upon arrival at Bamboo Nest we dropped our bags in our private bamboo bungalow and followed the moonlit trail back to the common area for a home-cooked Thai dinner. There were six other travelers there but unfortunately four of them were Canadian so conversation wasn't exactly electrifying.

          Noi, Nok's husband and co-owner of Bamboo Nest, lit us a fire in the fire pit. Britt called it a night and went to bed. I made the ill-considered decision to stay up drinking cheap Thai beer with the Canadians and two others. I was outnumbered and ended up defending America as the subject of a relentless interrogation. They bombarded me with an unending barrage of half-witted questions like,  “Why do we know the name of you're president, but you don't who Stephen Harper is?”

“Stephen Harper? Hmmm. You mean the guy in the wheel-chair with the robot voice that's always talking about space and time travel and worm holes? Oh. No. Wait. That's Stephen Hawking,” I half-jokingly answered. 

          In truth, I had no idea who Stephen Harper is (the Canadian Prime Minister-- thanks Google). Didn't know. Didn't Care. I don't go around asking stupid questions to Canadian people like, “Why do you think its okay to wear denim shirts?” or “Are you growing that mustache because you lost a bet or are you actually serious?”

          Outnumbered as I was, I easily fended off these haters from the land of snow and syrup. The truth is, Canadians are jealous of Americans. Robin Williams said it best, “Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party”. While things were still in good spirits I said goodnight to Joni Mitchell and the other hippies and went to bed.  

          I woke up the next morning with a slight headache and a dry mouth. It all disappeared when I stepped on to the bamboo balcony outside of my bungalow. It was a comfortably cool morning and the sun sparkled off the shiny green jungle, still wet with mountain dew. Leftover mist trapped in the valley blanketed rice paddies in the distance. Otherwise it was clear. This is the type of scenery that Northern Thailand is renowned for. It was an entirely different kind of beautiful than what I am used to in the south. The guesthouse was appropriately named. It really is like a Bamboo Nest in the side of the mountain.

          I spent the rest of the day exploring the compound a bit, but mostly laying around in the hammock on my bamboo porch. Nok had done a superb job with the landscaping and there were various flowers, plants, and trees strategically placed to add that much more to the already naturally impressive terrain. There's an abundance to do at Bamboo Nest. They offer jungle treks and 4x4 off-roading. It's only an hour's hike to a waterfall and natural hot springs. If that's too far, a ten minute stroll down the mountain will bring you to a Lahu hilltribe village.

          Since I've been back in Thailand, the two days I spent at Bamboo Nest de Chiang Rai have been by far my favorite and the most relaxing. It's easily one of my top 3 places I've stayed in all of my travels. I could go on and on into more detail about Bamboo Nest, but I figured the best way to show how great it is would be to show you with a quick video. Here's the newest Blake's World episode... Enjoy!

Want to see what it's like at Bamboo Nest de Chiang Rai?  Watch the video above!

my porch view

photo credit: Britt D

Old Whitey

My Shipping Container/Jungle House in Thailand

          I've lived in a lot of different places since I made move to Thailand in 2010.  In Bangkok I had a small apartment in a great part of the city.  In Surat Thani, I lived in three different houses with a handful of awesome roommates.  But, by far, the most interesting place that I've lived (and my favorite) is a shipping container in the jungle.

          It's not exactly as it sounds.  It's actually two shipping containers welded together in the middle and renovated into a small "house" complete with electricity and running water.   It stands on stilts over a pond in the jungle, just 5 minutes across the river from town.  Living in the jungle was an adventure in itself.  I'd routinely see giant monitor lizards lazily crawling through the tall grasses and there was monkey that lived a stone's throw away.  Not to mention all the cool flora and fauna.

          After six great months in the jungle and almost two years of living and teaching in Surat, it's time to move on.  I'm trading the sun and the islands of Thailand's south for the cool, green mountains of the north.  Surat Thani, you will be missed.

Here's a quick video of the jungle crib...  (not the best quality)...

And some snapshots...

front porch

you may enter...

living room area

Britt's art room... I wanted a gym.

And some cool plants growing around the house...

*not pictured: bedroom, bathroom, drawbridge.

Rock Climbing and Penis Caves at Railay Beach!

          During my last semester of teaching I didn't get to travel as much as I would've liked.  My primary focus was working and saving money.  I needed cash for my trip back to the States and to hold me over through my next gig volunteering in the north.  I did, however, plan and budget for one 4-day trip to Railay Beach in Thailand's Krabi province. 

          I've been to many of Thailand's most stunning islands and beaches, but never to Railay.  A few friends have told me that, with it's towering limestone cliffs and clear blue water, it's their favorite beach in Thailand.  I was set on spending some time there before I left the south.

          My girlfriend and I took advantage of a 4-day holiday weekend in August and hopped on a bus (and then a tuk-tuk... and then a long tail boat) to Railay.  After we checked in to our guesthouse, we walked around and toured the small peninsula that Railay is stretched upon.  Railay is only accessible by boat and has three main beaches.  Railay West is the most beautiful beach on the peninsula, but Pra Nang is more... mmmm... interesting.

It's home to Tham Pra Nang Nok (Princess Cave), a cave dedicated to an ancient fertility goddess.  The cave is full of hundreds of phallic symbols of all kinds-- big, small, wooden, plastic-- as well as garlands and offerings to the goddess for “increased potency and prosperity”.   

Unless you're talking about Vietnamese currency,
I never want to see "hundreds of dong" again

          After I finished my photo shoot with the giant wooden penises (or is it peni?), I needed something to bring my self-confidence back up.  We strolled up the small Walking Street and I booked a half-day of rock climbing at King Climbers, one of the many rock climbing shops that Railay is home to.  Krabi province is world famous for its limestone walls and first-class rock climbing. 

       

          The next morning, Britt and I met our guides, grabbed our gear, and followed the shoreline.  The sand turned to jungle and quickly we found the giant stone face that we were to scale by five different routes.  A brief tutorial on knot-tying and gear rigging was all we were given before the guides let us loose upon the rock.  As I gracefully floated to the top of what normal humans think of as a challenging climb, I could hear the guides talking to each other on the ground below.  I couldn't make out exactly what they were saying in Thai, but I think it was something about how I reminded them of an angel.  I briefly paused at the top to look over my shoulder and take in the incredible view of the bay behind me. Then, I pushed off the rock and effortlessly repelled back to the ground.  The guides' faces were awestruck, like they just found out Spiderman really does exist.

got a light?

          Later that night we went to dinner at the last bar on the beach, creatively named Last Bar.  I ate good food and enjoyed a bucket of booze while I watched the fire show.  Fire shows are popular for nighttime entertainment on most Thai beaches.  Between one and ten locals perform dances and acrobatics while twirling ropes, sticks, and other primal props, all soaked in oil and lit on fire.  It's wise to always be paying attention during one of these shows.  More than once, I've seen a handler lose control of his flaming baton, sending it like a medieval fireball into the crowd of spectators.   Fortunately, on this night there were no such mishaps.

          The following day, we booked a snorkeling trip that had been recommended by friends.  A long tail boat took us to a few small islands off the coast to snorkel, swim, and lay on the beach.  The water was cloudy and visibility was low so I challenged Brittany to a jumping contest on the beach.  I clearly dominated.

didn't spill one drop

          At dusk, the boat pulled ashore a private island for us to watch the sunset, while the crew cooked up a BBQ seafood dinner on the beach for us.  While we waited for our food, Brittany wanted to redeem herself from her horrible showing in the jumping contest and challenged me to a cartwheel contest.  I'm not quite sure what she was thinking.  I've been told that my cartwheel execution is reminiscent of a young Kerri Strug.  Again, I dominated. 

          On the way back to Railay beach, the boat stopped in the middle of the bay for some night snorkeling.  I jumped in and the water immediately lit up all around me with the glow of thousands of phosphorescence.  I swam underwater and it felt like I was in outer space.  Holding my breath I threw out some ferocious karate chops and ninja kicks, each one trailed by a bright, yellow and blue, electric glow.  Then, I almost drowned and realized that I was not in the Matrix and swam back to the boat to take me home.

          All in all, Railay was great. It's a beautiful beach with tons of activities and it isn't as overcrowded as many of the islands are.  It's a bit more expensive then other places, but still, a 4-day vacation (including transportation, accommodation, food, drink, rock climbing, and snorkeling) only cost me about 6,000 baht ($200 USD).  Hopefully, before I leave thailand I'll get one more trip to the south.  If I do, I'll definitely visit Railay again.

low tide